What A Life

[A released draft from the vault]

What a day today was, man. It was one of those totally productively unproductive days  ever, and I don’t even know what to write, to be honest. Your girl just has a lot of feelings swirling through her right now that she can’t seem to get a grip on so of course where do I go? Here. Duh. Okay are you ready for this shit? Here we go.

I swear I am a drama magnet. Like yea, sometimes I am directly involved, but then sometimes this crap just follows me I SWEAR. That statement probably makes no sense out of context, and I’m totally not going to sit here and tell you the petty soap opera that is my pathetic life, so let’s just skip to the end where I learn lessons because I had like 4 hours of sleep last night.

It’s not always your fault. When drama happens I’m very easy to blame because I don’t exactly have a peaceful reputation. And while sometimes I am completely deserving of blame, sometimes I really am not. Especially since I always feel responsible for people, when something happens I am quick to accept the blame when someone puts it on me, but thats not fair. You can’t just let people shit on you because circumstances were not in their favor. Accept as much blame as you truly deserve and grow from that, but you do not need to carry the weight for things such as unfortunate timing or circumstance. Not everything has to always be your fault. Forgive yourself.

Everyone deals with situations differently. Not everyone handles things the way you do. Personally, I like dealing with problems head on. My whole motto is this: if this is the first time you have wronged me like this, I can’t get mad at you. If you do it again, I have every reason to because now you know better. I like to be explicitly clear with people about why they upset me because, as much as I love my people, they aren’t mind readers. You have to teach people how to deal with you, especially if you’re as ridiculously complicated of a person as I am. Some people don’t think like me, and it took me a lot to understand that. Different situations hurt people in ways that you wouldn’t expect, and those people will deal with them differently. Like I said, I like to deal with things head on. The second a problem occurs, I need to fix it right then and there because the biggest lesson I learned in my life is the longer you wait to fix a problem, the harder it gets. So I like to talk through things as soon as I can, while other people would prefer to not talk about the problem and just let things die out. Everyone handles things differently, and I can’t get offended when people aren’t doing it my way.

I don’t really have a brilliant conclusion to this besides sometimes you just need to give people a break or you’re going to break. So there’s that. Take your vitamins, say your prayers, text your mom. Goodnight, folks.

 

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