I’m having a moment. I have this moment every so often.
I don’t enjoy this moment; this moment has the ability to tear me into microscopic pieces of unidentified matter.
This moment, this feeling, makes me feel small, weak, insignificant.
I don’t feel like this. This isn’t how I’m supposed to feel.
I am supposed to feel strong, confident, like a boulder in a storm–unshaken, unmoved. That’s how people expect me to feel all the time. That’s how I expect myself to feel all the time. But it’s not how I feel all the time, because every so often, I have a moment.
A moment where I feel insignificant, disposable–like I could move to another planet and no one would think to look for me.
I’m having a moment. A moment where I suddenly crave approval. Not the approval of what I’m doing, but the approval that what I am doing is reaping something greater. I crave self-approval. I crave greatness. I crave being craved by another.
This is not a normal feeling. It is not who I am, but it is who I am now, for a moment. And all I can do is wait for it to pass.
So would you please excuse me? I’m having a moment.